It seems another surge of babies are on the way again. The holidays are coming up. It's the hardest time of year for us.
We have been trying very hard all year to make progress, and this month we are taking a big step and doing an IUI. It's very exciting, and very scary. I'm a little stressed and quite emotional and have trouble sleeping, but I also feel removed from the situation. I'm just taking it one day at a time, which right now requires pills. Soon there will be an injection, some imaging, and then we will receive the IUI. Or should I say I will? Z has it so easy! He's ready for this, and whatever may come of it. He's my rock! So I'm super nervous for him to take his trip to Oregon right after. I'll be alone and we don't know what will happen. Unknowns are so scary, but it's all we've known for over 3 years now. We'll survive, no matter what. This isn't the end-all for us, it's just another step. We've taken a lot of small steps to get here, and bigger ones may be ahead, so we'll keep climbing. Our bank accounts may be empty, but we know our reward will be full hearts.
As I was making Chex Mix today I thought of all the times my mother would make it around the holidays. I picture her in her kitchen mixing the Chex, it smells divine, and I grab warm cereal and pretzels off the counter top and pop them in my mouth. I feel her warmth and her love for me and it puts me at peace. I dream of giving the gift of memories like this to a sweet little soul one day. I know it's what I was created to do. I know we can do this. We know we can.
I wish I could just give you the biggest hug right now. My prayers are with you and Zack. You two are such an awesome couple and your future kiddos will be so blessed to have you guys as parents.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sierra! You are one of the sweetest, most genuine people I know. It means so much to me that you'd say that! I'm always saying a prayer for you too!
DeleteI am excited for you! I can't imagine how this must feel but I love you and am praying for you to have strngth and a happy outcome. I don't know how comfortable you will be with this, but I would love for you to share your journey (as comfortable as you are)- I think it's so encouraging and gives me strength. You are strong and I am sending good vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary. I don't know how I'll feel about it either. I think it would be cool to give a play-by-play for people to see how crazy a cycle can be, but with the extreme emotional roller coaster we've been on the past 3+ years we probably will wait some time before we make any announcements either way. We'll see though!
DeleteGood luck and God bless! We'll be praying for you both. Much love <3
ReplyDelete(p.s. you're right about the wave of babies on their way - or already arrived this year- everyone is announcing...)
Thank you Sabrina!!!!
DeleteIsn't it crazy? It's always right when I'm feeling relieved and sort of forgetting about it, BAM! Babies everywhere!!!! Every month is up and down, and different times of year come with ups and downs, it never ends!