Zeke has been with us for over a month now, so I figure it's about time I write about his birth! The first month has been a complete whirlwind of craziness. Finding time to sit down and write this post has been impossible!
On Thursday, July 9th I spent most of the day reading and relaxing. The weekend before and through the week it had been go-go-go preparing for baby and I felt like I'd earned a day to do nothing. I had no idea I'd go into labor, so I'm glad I took it easy! Over the weekend I'd felt a couple very small, light cramps, but then nothing more. At around 5 pm Thursday afternoon I started to feel some cramps and text Zack asking him to pick up some food since I wanted to take it easy. He finally showed up at 6:30 with Whataburger which I devoured (knowing I wasn't supposed to eat when I went into labor, ha) and then started recording my cramps. I was still feeling fine, but thought things seemed regular and was getting worried. It was 10 days too early, no way was this happening! I had made a list for the hospital bag, but we had yet to pack it. I had no intention of using it that night, but packed it anyway. Zack wouldn't help and thought I needed to just chill out. I remember feeling annoyed with him for being so late with dinner and then blowing off packing the bag. Some time between 8 and 9 after I finished packing what I could, I hopped in the tub and continued to record everything. Both Zack and I were in denial, even after I passed quite a bit of blood. Zack was in the office playing games and basically ignoring me, bothered when I'd ask for water or any other kind of help. I took this photo while I was in the bath and contacted my mom who was in Oregon at a River Rhythms concert featuring Andy Grammer. She knew what was happening, but tried to not freak me out and just asked that we keep her posted.
When I got out of the tub Zack and I crawled into bed. At this point I was feeling uncomfortable and slightly worried. Zack said we needed to just go to sleep, that things would slow down, and that everything was fine. I wanted to believe him! Things didn't slow down though and I kept recording. Finally at around 11 pm I asked Zack to tell me how long it was between each "cramp" and how long it had been that way. It was at this point we hopped into gear because we had overstayed our welcome at home. I should have been paying more attention to timing (I mean geeze, why else was I recording it!?), but I was mostly going off how I was feeling, which up until then wasn't too bad. By the time we rounded up the final things to take with us I couldn't put my own shoes on. Oops! I had gotten down on the floor during a cramp and couldn't bring my foot up to get my shoe on. Zack was mad at this point, still thinking he was going to work in the morning, that the hospital would tell us to go back home, and baby wasn't coming for at least a couple more days. He shoved my shoe on, helped me up, and then we headed out. Once I was up off the floor I was ok, got down the stairs just fine, and was feeling pretty peaceful knowing we were going to the hospital to get checked out. I said the worst that could happen is they make us go home, but we need to head in based on the timing of my cramping.
On the 4 mile drive to the hospital things picked up quickly. I started breathing a little heavier and knew we'd made the right choice at just the right moment. When we got to the hospital we pulled up to the entrance I needed to be dropped off at only to be met with a big dark wall of construction. Uh oh! So Zack pulled around to the parking garage in the back and looked for a place to park. He couldn't find anything close so he decided to go back to the front just to make sure. On our way out he said to the ticket booth guy "my wife's in labor, where do we go?" and the guy basically shrugged his shoulders and was like "you can park here." AHH! Clearly homeboy didn't understand. We got back around to the front and by now I'm getting frantic saying "Just ask somebody where we need to go. JUST ASK SOMEBODY!!!" Zack kept on driving right past the valet guys who were the only ones out at that time of night and went back into the parking garage. He parked the car, gathered up our things, and helped me get out. I took two steps and braced myself between cars. Me-"I can't." Z-"The elevators are right there! Just walk!" Me-"I CAN'T!" At this point Zack knew I wasn't playing around and was getting really stressed. He threw everything back in the car, dumped the large water bottle I had brought on the ground (so he didn't have to worry about it spilling), and zoomed back out of the garage to the emergency room entrance. Zack jumped out of the car and asked the security guard for a wheelchair. Once my contraction had passed I hobbled into the wheelchair and the security guard raced me to labor & delivery.
Upon arrival they wanted me to get on a scale, and of course now that it was about 2 minutes later I was in the middle of another contraction. When I was able to get on the scale they started asking me questions I could barely answer. Hello people, I'm in labor over here!!! They proceeded to take me to a bathroom and asked me to change into a gown and pee in a cup. While in the bathroom I had another contraction. I was getting scared at this point, alone in the bathroom hardly able to care for myself. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I just sort of hovered over the toilet unable to move. When I finally came out I was able to lay in a bed...it was HEAVEN! More questions, an IV, and a contraction later they finally checked me. I was a 7 or 8, it's hard to remember now, and 90%! Apparently at this point someone was sent to get a room prepped and they let Zack into triage, which doesn't normally happen, ha. He gave me my phone, headed off to our room with a nurse, and they finished getting me ready. It all happened so fast!
Before I knew it they had me in a delivery room and my contractions were getting pretty strong. I was still talking and having a pretty good time though, but begging for water I wasn't able to have. I thought I'd make it without an epidural.....then things quickly moved into screaming, goat moaning pain. I probably could have done it, but it was at this point Zack was holding my hand, his eyes about to pop out of his head, and he said "I can't make it go away. I don't know what to do!" I breathed "I know. It's ok." but really all my confidence disappeared and I wanted that epidural STAT. I felt like I could make it through about 3 more contractions, but pushing sounded impossible. I was physically spent and emotionally exhausted. The nurse had informed me we might be pushing in 15 minutes, or in two hours, and I was NOT going to make it two hours! In all fairness, she only told me because I asked. It's funny how your brain works when you're going through something like this. I knew the answers to my questions, but I asked them anyway hoping for a better answer.
The anesthesiologist came in and immediately got to work on me. I was between a 9 & 10, having just a tiny bit of cervix left on my left side, and 100% effaced. Oh the relief!!!!! It was immediate! I never even felt the needle, or anything really. I had been so freaked out about it, but it was NOTHING. Not only that, the epidural worked PERFECTLY for me. I felt no pain, but was able to maneuver myself around in bed. I did crash for a split second, but some oxygen and epinephrine spiffed me right up. They slapped on my "fall risk" wrist band just as my first bag of fluid was drying up (apparently they are supposed to wait for it to finish before giving an epidural).
The rest of the night was glorious. Zack tried to sleep on the world's smallest couch, while I drifted in and out of consciousness listening to the fetal monitor all night.
So many amazing things happened during labor. The amniotic sac was intact and hanging out of my vagina. It was like a water balloon, completely fascinating, you know we touched it! We waited all night for it to break. Just after 6 am we were both awake and we lost the fetal heartbeat on the monitor. Nobody came when we pressed the button and Zack was moving the monitor everywhere trying to get a heartbeat. Finally he says "well did your water break?" I was told I'd feel it, but I hadn't noticed anything yet. Zack checked and it had indeed broken! He popped his head into the hall and asked for someone. Pretty soon after that our nurse was in our room and we were discussing if I should start pushing. I'd been waiting all night to feel pressure, but 6 hours later I still hadn't had the urge to push! My doctor was supposed to be in at 7 am, but then we learned she was on a plane! Zack finally comes out with "it's like Christmas morning when you're ready to open your presents and mom says you have to eat breakfast first. I want my gift now!" So the decision was made, it was time to push! Since the sac had finally broken and the baby was extremely low Zack and I were able to reach in and feel the head. It was so amazing. I know this may all seem so gross to some people, but for us it was magical. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. They brought in the mirror so I could see everything. It was surprisingly motivating. I compare it to weightlifting. Each time I had to push it was like adding that final rep to the set, and the best part was you could see your progress! I pushed for about an hour, finally feeling some light pressure about half way through, and Zeke was born at 7:53 am!
We had the best nurse ever. Her name was Celestial and she made me feel like a warrior goddess. Unfortunately the best photo I have of her is not sharable, so you'll just have to envision the best labor & delivery nurse that ever existed. Her shift ended at 7 and then she was going to go home with her daughter to the Rio Grande Valley (about 3 hours away), but she stayed an hour after her shift ended until Zeke was born! We loved her and cracked Kimye jokes and just had a blast with her. She wanted so badly for it to be a girl that she even made an extra baby cap with a bow, just in case! We also had another travel nurse who'd just moved here from California, and she was a cute spunky blonde just like you'd expect! We also had a third girl in the room who was a student nurse and this was her first delivery! How special!
I thought I'd have more ....ahem.... appropriate photos, but Zack put all his focus on the business end of things.
6 pounds, 3 ounces & 19 inches long!
The first photo I was able to snap with my phone and share with family.
After delivery we spent some time with our new baby contemplating names, getting my small tear stitched up, and breastfeeding. A way-too-fast hour later they took our baby to the nursery for a bath and a second weighing while they moved me into a recovery room.
Zack was quick to get some much needed rest while I got a lecture of all the "rules." Being in recovery was an absolute nightmare, but that's a post for another day. I'll keep it happy for the time being. :p
First photo of all 3 of us (ignore me, I look terrible......IV fluids will do that to you)!
Our precious little angel! Ezekiel Charles Baldwin!
Flowers from the Lear's and my parents. :)
He was so tiny!!! Look at him swimming in the clothes they put him in.
Keeping track of feeding and diaper changes (I have an app now, so much easier).
Home!!!!! I can't get over how tiny he was! It was actually scary, he almost didn't fit right in the car seat! It's so hard to believe he was ever that small. I love thinking back to those first few days of getting to know Zeke in the comfort of our own home. It was one of the most sacred experience I've ever had, there's nothing I can compare it to.
The cats missed us terribly, Zack never left the hospital and we hadn't set anyone up to check on them. Lesson learned for next time!
One of our first days together. I was so exhausted, but it was wonderful!
I hope we get to do it all over again in a couple years!
