Socially Awkward

I shouldn't be allowed to go to social functions. I always do or say something stupid. I always swore I'd never be oblivious and do obviously stupid things, but I can't help it!

We were invited to a conference brunch and I came in and sat down and avoided speaking to anyone. It's always the same questions! "How's work?" "Oh, you're done with your bad job, right?" And it's totally the last thing I want to talk about because then you say it's going well and people are all cheery like "Oh! That's great life is going good for you! :)" Gah, no. That's so far from the truth. But no one would know that because all they ever ask me about is work. I'd love to talk about something, anything else, but I don't really know anyone well enough to actually talk about anything more than that. UGH. And then I'll say something even stupider like "So you're at home right? How's that?" I'm sure everyone I say that to HATES me. But I don't know what else to say!!!

Well after what felt like forever (but was probably only 5 minutes) we got to eat. So how do I eat? Without a fork. I didn't think there were any! I didn't know what to do....and I'm too stupid to ask, so I ate my eggs with my hands. I'm sure I looked like a total pinhead. Even better...I topped my waffle with more waffle. Ya, I used the batter. I thought it was the topping. WOW ASHLEY. In my defense, it was right next to the actual topping that looked almost identical. Who does that?

As if it could get any worse...once I finally engaged with a good conversation, I reached up to grab something from Z only to realize I hadn't shaved. My friend probably now thinks I'm a disgusting moron.

This is why I shouldn't be invited or even allowed at social functions. SIGH.